近幾年隨著涉外工程項目的增多,翻譯量也隨之增多。通常投標(biāo)時間短,所以有時標(biāo)書的部分內(nèi)容會請翻譯公司來翻譯。然而返回來的譯文“中式英語”味很濃。
1出現(xiàn)"中式英語"傾向的原因
其原因有如下幾個方面:一是工程類標(biāo)書用詞比較專業(yè)化;二是時間性強(qiáng),給翻譯的時間有限,譯者經(jīng)常處于完成任務(wù)的匆忙之中,在限定的時間內(nèi) 很少進(jìn)行推敲潤色。下面以某翻譯公司翻譯的“施工組織設(shè)計”為樣本,對其中出現(xiàn)的“中式英語”進(jìn)行分析。
例:(1) 按照制定的進(jìn)度和質(zhì)量要求,承包商的工作應(yīng)緊密協(xié)調(diào),嚴(yán)格制定管理控制程序。
原譯:Based on the established progress and quality requirements, the Contractors? work should be tightly coordinated, the management control procedure should be strictly established.
改譯:Based on the planned progress and quality requirements, the Contractor shall fully coordinate to execute the Project and strictly make control procedure.
小析:翻譯并不是照著原文,見詞譯詞,見句譯句。establish (v) to set up (esp. an organization); management和control具有相同的意思,同時用重復(fù);另外英語句子中,再長的句子也只能有一個主語。

例: (2)所有承包工作將遵守當(dāng)?shù)卣姆桑?法規(guī)和要求。
原譯:All the contracting work shall abide by the laws, regulations and requirements of the local government.
改譯:All the work contracted shall be in compliance with the laws, regulations and requirements of the local government 0
小析:abide by的主語通常為人,用in compliance with更合乎英文習(xí)慣;另外work是被contracted.
例:(3)隱蔽工程必須在隱蔽前24小時由施工單位質(zhì)檢員通知業(yè)主或監(jiān)理公司進(jìn)行現(xiàn)場檢查,經(jīng)檢查合格后方可隱蔽。
原譯:The Owner or the Supervision Company must be notified by quality inspector of the construction unit for site inspection 24 hours ahead of concealing, concealed work shall only be done if qualified.
改譯:The concealed work can be conducted only when it is inspected and qualified by the Owner or the Supervision Company who shall be notified by quality inspector of the construction unit for site inspection 24 hours ahead of concealing,.
小析:盡力去準(zhǔn)確傳達(dá)原文的主要意思。該句中關(guān)鍵詞及重點是“隱蔽工程方可隱蔽必須經(jīng)檢驗合格后”。
2 避免“中式英語”的幾種方法和技巧
2.1翻譯是一種再創(chuàng)作,它不是簡單的一對一的翻譯,不只是在另一種語言中尋找意義相似的詞語,而是要將所譯的內(nèi)容輸人大腦,在大腦中經(jīng)過深加工,然后再輸出來。就拿漢譯英來說,首先,用眼睛把漢語掃一遍,讓中文在大腦中留下印象,明確所 譯文章整體上說什么,有什么特點;然后,用眼睛再掃一遍文章,弄清所譯文章分幾部分,每一部分大概又分幾點;接下來開始進(jìn)人角色,先把每一小部分或者說一個段落看透,吃透原文內(nèi)容,明確原文 的邏輯關(guān)系。這一步非常重要,因為邏輯是語言表達(dá)的“血脈”,“血脈”梗塞,誤解誤譯自然產(chǎn)生。在搞清楚各部分之間的修飾關(guān)系后,開始抓主干,把句子簡化到只剩下主干部分。
例:(1)冬季施工因氣溫低,氣候干燥和作業(yè)人員穿戴較多,手腳不靈活等,是一個事故的多發(fā)季 節(jié)。
譯文:More accidents happen during winter construction due to low temperature, dry climate and workers' slow motion by more dress.
例:(2)由于采購要求或同意修改任務(wù)范圍或 內(nèi)容而導(dǎo)致批準(zhǔn)的項目總費用和(或)進(jìn)度計劃發(fā) 生了變化,則稱為采購變更。
原譯:Because purchase department request (or approval), modification project scope or contents but caused the project cost or the project schedule to variety, this kind C.O is called the purchase change order.
改譯:The change of the approved project cost and (or) project schedule, caused by the request (or approval) from purchase department for the modification of project scope or contents, is called the purchase change order.
小析:后者清楚地將它們間的邏輯及修飾關(guān)系表達(dá)了出來。

例:(3)所有有關(guān)變更單的預(yù)算都應(yīng)提供足夠 的工作量和單價費用明細(xì)并將系數(shù)或百分比的使 用減到最少。
譯文:All estimates regarding a Variation/Change Order shall be supported by adequate quantity and unit cost detail; use of factors or percentages should be minimized.
2.2無主句頗多。遇到無主句如何下手譯?
例:(關(guān)于地基處理)開挖20m X 20m,深2m的基槽,在基槽底部鋪200mm厚級配砂,再回填直徑為200〜300mm毛石及碎石,粉煤灰及水泥的混合 物,分層壓實。
可用兩種方法來譯:(l)The foundation treatment is as follows: firstly, to excavate the foundation trench with 20 m 20 m and 2 m deep; secondly, to lay 200 mm thick graded sand at the bottom of foundation trench; thirdly, to backfill 200 -300mm diameter rubble and crushed stone, fly ash and cement compound; lastly, to compact by layer. (純主動句)
(2) Firstly, the foundation trench of 20 m 20 m and 2 m deep shall be excavated; then, 200mm thick graded sand shall be laid at the bottom of foundation trench; lastly, 200-300 mm diameter rubble and crushed stone, fly ash and cement compound shall be backfilled and compacted by layer. (純被動句)
無論運用主動句還是被動句,要注意前后句型的一致。
2.3掌握工程英語的一大主要特點,即使用被動語 態(tài)的頻率很高。
例(1):在施工中加強(qiáng)HSE管理,除日常的檢查外,每周進(jìn)行專項檢查和講評。
譯文:HSE management shall be strengthened in construction. Besides the daily inspection, the inspection and comment on special items shall be carried out every week.
例(2):鋼筋由現(xiàn)場加工制作并進(jìn)行綁扎。
譯文:The steel bar shall be fabricated and assembled on site.
2.4由于專業(yè)性強(qiáng),不要停留在字面意思,一定要 搞懂原文的真正意思,這是提髙翻譯質(zhì)量的前提條件。否則會產(chǎn)生歧義。
例(1):[關(guān)于鼓風(fēng)機(jī)安裝方法]油系統(tǒng)注油時用濾油機(jī)泵入,油路清潔度檢查以100目濾網(wǎng)運行4 小時檢查循環(huán)截面上的污點數(shù)量和程度大小制定合格與否。
原譯:The oil system will adopt the oil filter to pump in when oiling. The cleanness of oil circuit inspection will use the method that is, after the 100 head trap value runs for 4 hours, to check the taint quantity and degree on the circle cross-section to determine whether it is qualified or not.
改譯:The oil shall be pumped into oil system by filter press. The inspection and qualification for the cleanliness of oil circuit shall depend on the quantity and dimension of the spot on the cycle cross-section when 100 mesh strainer runs for four hours.
小析:透徹理解,專業(yè)用詞,精煉譯文。
例(2) (關(guān)于管道安裝施工方法)蒸氣伴管和泄露檢測管在工藝主管線安裝完成后施工。
原譯:Steam following pipe and leak inspection pipe should be constructed after the completion of the technical mainline.
改譯:Steam tracing and leak detector tube shall be executed after the completion of the process main pipeline.
2.5注意一定要有扎實的英語功底,熟悉英文詞法 句法特點,尤其是詞的搭配,靈活運用上要下功夫, 這樣才能避免將中文搭配強(qiáng)加在英文上。
例:參加項目施工的工人進(jìn)人崗位前,均要進(jìn)行人場安全教育和崗位安全技術(shù)培訓(xùn),并經(jīng)考試合 格后方能上崗。
原譯:Before taking posts, safety education and post safety technical training shall be done for the workers, whom shall take the place after passing examination.
改譯:The constructors can begin work only after training for site & job safety and being qualified.
3結(jié)語
總之,要想提高漢譯英譯文的質(zhì)量,“中式英語”是最難克服的大問題。如果要從根本上解決這個問題,需要譯者一方面加強(qiáng)對專業(yè)知識的學(xué)習(xí),并且平時注意搜集積累專業(yè)詞匯以及國際上通用詞匯;另一方面繼續(xù)加強(qiáng)兩種語言,尤其是英語的修養(yǎng)。一般來說,譯者英語的造詣越深,其譯文中的“漢式英語”就越少。
Copyright @ 2005-2020 南京同傳翻譯公司 版權(quán)所有